A Dozen Stupid Jokes
Yes these are stupid perhaps, but they make me laugh. Hopefully
they will do the same for you. I think it is good for the brain
to laugh, and even if this turns out to be untrue, laughter has
already been proven to have other benefits, like relieving stress
and exercising the cardio vascular system. So here we go with
a few stupid jokes...
1. Three old men were sitting in the park talking. A little
girl was in front of them, playing with her dog and listening
to them. The first old man said "whoomf." The second
looked at him and said, "No, it's whooorf." The third
old guy said, "You're both wrong. It's whoompha."
At this point the little girl came over with her dog and announced,
"Don't be silly. It's whoof, and you know it." She
took her dog and left. The men sat there for a moment. Finally
one of them spoke up.
"I don't know. She's pretty young. I bet she's never
even heard a buffalo fart."
2. A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished,
he couldn't find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump
in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn't want to pull
up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer
and pounded the lump flat. His wife came in the room just then
and handed him his cigarettes.
"I found them in the kitchen," she told him. "Now
if I can just find our pet hamster."
3. An idiot was taking sky-diving lessons. The instructor
explained that it was time for his first jump, and all he had
to do was jump from the plane, count to six, and pull the rip
cord. A truck would be waiting for him in the field where he
The man jumped from the plane when he was told to, and counted
to six. When he pulled the rip cord, the parachute wouldn't open.
He tried the reserve chute and that didn't open. Frustrated,
he muttered to himself as he fell, "I'll bet the truck won't
be waiting for me either."
4. The man asked the doctor for birth control pills, and the
doctor asked why he would need birth control. "To help me
sleep better." Birth control pills don't help with insomnia,
the doctor explained. "Yes they do," the man insisted,
"I put them in my daughter's drink before she goes out and
I sleep much better."
5. Why did grandpa get to meet new people every day without
leaving the house? Because he had alzheimer's disease.
6.Two idiots were trying to light a fire. The first one couldn't
get the match to light, and the second one said, "That's
strange, it lit this morning."
7. Did you hear about the idiot who was trying to develop
powdered water? He didn't know what to reconstitute it with.
8. What kind of fish can't swim at all? Dead ones!
9. What is a slug? A homeless snail!
10. Why was the archeologist depressed? Because his career
was in ruins!
11. Do you know what happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!
12. The teacher asked Gupta, "If you had seven cookies
and Sanjay asked you for three, how many cookies would you have
left?" Gupta immediately answered, "Seven!"
For more dumb jokes (and others), visit the Riddles
and Puzzles Index Page